It's that time again, this term seems to have flown by, mind you I find that although this is the longest term it always seems to fly by. I think it's the ridiculously long list of things to do to prepare for Christmas. This year I haven't even made the mincemeat yet and it's already almost mid December!!
Anyway, from an art/course point of view it's been slightly unproductive. I think I've travelled a long way mentally but I haven't really made very much. The course last week was great as it made me get inky again but I know I'm really dragging my heels. I think I've spent so long glued to the computer writing the research paper and the blog posts that I seem to have lost my way a little with the printmaking.
I don't know whether this is just me putting prressue on myself to always be making.... I listened to the Out of Ink podcast yesterday and they were talking about burnout. I've watched my husband go throught it this term, but he got to the point he was so stressed he hit a wall, resigned from his job and has totally rethought his career path. I have realised that I've been assuming that I'm immune to burnout since I only have myself putting pressure on me, but then I realised that I do put an awful lot of pressure on myself and that maybe I need to stop once in a while.
One of the podcasters said that her main symptom of burnout was a lack of enthusiasm and I've just realised that I do feel less enthusiastic than usual. I've definitely been far less enthusiastic about the craft fairs this year, which I'm wondering is the symptom or part of the cause for the low sales... possibly both?
I was spending most evenings as well as all day working on my research paper which happened to coincide with the GROTTO print, half term and a long weekend in Venice (which sounds lovely but all the preparation needed to leave the children & dog for 3 days does make it rather a chore the week before and then afterwards!) and finishing the huge print that I'd started. After the paper was due in the rest of unit 2 needed submitting and then I was on the course with Chris so I feel like I haven't stopped but also that I don't really have much to show for myself this term. Usually I have lots of ideas for prints but I'm feeling a bit stuck at the moment which is making me wonder whether I just need a little break.
The rest of the family are off to Hamburg with Chas's family over new year but I need to stay behind as no one can take care of Hops so I'm planning a 4 day printmaking takeover of the kitchen - I won't need to pack up as no one will need to use the table! Again because of this I'm now putting pressue on myslef to come up with a plan of what to do. Maybe I should stop, take the pressure off and just see what I fancy at the time?? But then I worry that I'll waste the opportunity.... I can't win!
I think the other thing that's annoying me is that next year we'll be moving house and I'll finally have a studio. We're buying my parents house and they're moving into a new house that is FINALLY being built in the garden. We've waited over 2 years already, and were meant to have moved in by now. My frustration with the way I have to work is starting to become a problem, I need to just hang on a little longer!! I can't wait to have a studio where I don't have to pack everything away by 3pm each day and I can keep all my things in the same space, at the moment I work in the kitchen, store lots of things in the utility room and have everything else upstairs in our bedroom, it's infuriating having to constantly trail up and down stairs for plates and paper etc!
I think I'm generally feeling a little frazzled and have to admit that instead of being excited by Christmas it just feels like another list of jobs to do that I don't have any time or enthusiasm for. Oh dear... the more I think about it the more I think maybe I am a bit worn out! If I can just get the wreath, mincemeat and cake made then I think I'll feel a bit better. I don't like having jobs hanging over me!
This seems to be the story of this term.... lots of jobs and deadlines that all came at once, and seemed to coincide with each other, and time racing by at an unreasonable speed. I'm trying to pause as I write this to measure where I was in September and how far I've come. I've made my first lithograph, I've uncovered a far deeper understanding of the context of my work and I've learned some new techniques from a master of print.
Overall I think I should be looking at this term as a highly productive and sucessful one from from the point of view of my overall practice. I need to recognise the value of the research I've done and the ideas that the course has given me.
Looking ahead I'm doing a 1 day book binding course at West Dean next week (they gave me a 50% off voucher!) it should be fun as a friend and my mum are coming but I do want to explore the idea of making books further so I'm looking forward to it as a developmental opportunity. I've also enrolled on a 2 day lithino course with Mary Dalton in January and February which should allow me to expand my mark making abilities on lino. Before then I want to try some sort of engraving onto the lino and inking it up intaglio instead of relief. I think Mary Dalton is doing some fascinating experiements with mark making on lino and I'm keen to see what I might be able to manage.
The other thing that's coming up is the Print at the Park exhibition at South Hill Park which should be fun but also rather high pressure. Somehow I've ended up being responsible for the PR so thats another thing to think about!
So all in all, a positive term, but more printmaking now needed!
