I really enjoyed my first tutorial with Jonathan. In hindsight I should have taken notes as we went along rather than afterwards, but I think I captured just about everything that is important for me to reflect on.
Jonathan used questions to guide our discussion which drew out some interesting points that I hadn't considered before. I also found verbalising my hopes and ambitions for the course was really useful. Having Jonathan reflecting back what I was saying and notions that I was heading towards was really helpful to make connections I hadn't considered before. I could have chatted for hours! This is what I took away from our discussion:
I want to 'professionalise' my work.
I know I can be guilty of rushing into making a piece without always putting in the level of preparation needed to make it the best it can be. I want to learn to take the time to do the research and make the work as good as it can be. I have already recognised that I don't need to mentally separate out areas of my work and undervalue things like my cards, I hadn't really realised it until now but it's all feeding the one creativity, just in different ways. I want to see myself as one artist who may create different things, up until now I was struggling to mentally link it all together. I feel more 'professional' already, having only recently (2 years) begun to make and sell work and try to 'be' an artist I'm thrilled that I am finally starting to feel like I vaguely know what I want to do and have some sort of artistic practise. I think I'm getting to the point where I don't feel like I'm pretending or faking it any more... I might actually be it.
I need external validation.
One of my reasons for doing the MA was to feel the validity that being accepted to study at this level gives. I know I also crave the validity that being accepted into exhibitions gives. Looking back this is probably something to do with my rather 'traditional' British upbringing, where academic qualifications and a list of achievements on a CV shows that you must be clever/successful etc. It's a very common and mainstream point of view but one from which I can't escape (although I do draw the line at measuring my success by likes/followers on social media, to that I seem reasonably immune which I am thankful for!). I want to be a 'successful artist' which to me means my work pays (at least some) bills and is accepted by others in the art world as worthy of a wider audience. We discussed this being the external result of the things I can do; this is the part I can't control.
At its best making my work is so much fun!
The moment when you peel the first print off the plate is simply magical. But I enjoy making the plates too, the etching process is currently really gripping me - not knowing what's going to come out of that acid bath is so exciting! I could write for days about why printmaking excites me but I'll leave it there.
I am process driven.
The process of making a plate from which to take the print satisfies me. I think I had some notion that good art couldn't be made quickly so when I started painting in watercolour or acrylic I didn't find it satisfying, rather, I felt like I was churning things out. Printmaking was where I felt far more satisfied with what I had produced (not that the results were necessarily better, but they felt more hard-won).
The process of making a plate involves steps so it slows me down. I am impatient and liable to rush to the end (I can never wait for paint to dry!) so the fact that I have to cut another layer, or wait for the etch to happen gives the ink time to dry, or the idea time to percolate. The investment in materials such as lino and then in the time already taken on however-many layers also makes me pause before I cut and check myself before I commit. I'm discovering the price of metal plates so don't want to waste too many of them by rushing! I think I need all these processes to slow me down and enable me to master my rather compulsive nature. Again, this then makes me feel that I've thought about the work rather than just gone with the first idea. Often the first idea is a good one, but I like the feeling that I've considered others before doing it.
I'm excited about delving deeper into the 'geeky' research.
Another reason for doing this course is that I am a bit of a geek. I love libraries and delving into subjects. I enjoyed writing my undergraduate dissertation way too much. I've already done the CSM library tour and was rather gutted on the day that I didn't really have anything specific to research. I knew artists researched the areas they were interested in but was struggling to figure out what sort of research would be valid for me and what would just be me 'pretending'. I now realise that it's all valid, it all feeds into me and I'm the one making the work so therefore it feeds into the work. I feel like I am finally starting to 'get' that side of it, that really excites me.
I want to improve my range of printmaking techniques.
I have identified linocut and collagraph as two techniques that I'm fairly comfortable with, I am now starting to experiment with eco-friendly etching and polymer litho. I want to expand the range of marks I can make and also see what combinations of these techniques might be possible.
I'm experimental.
When asked for my greatest strength this is what I said. I love experimenting, I can never help myself and usually try out at least two experiments at the same time even when I don't mean to! Sometimes this can be slightly detrimental but overall I think it keeps pushing my work forward. I know I make my best work when I'm excited and I know I get excited when I don't quite know what will happen so often my more experimental pieces are my strongest. I'm a great believer in learning from mistakes and from when things go wrong. I feel I learn more when things go wrong so I have to keep experimenting to keep learning.
I'm stubborn & selfish but can use this creatively to find solutions.
Jonathan pointed out that in identifying a strength I went straight to a weakness. When I thought about it further, I found that I could find a positive outcome from a potential negative. I've always had a slightly rebellious streak, always wanted to push the boundaries a bit. Going right back to childhood I realised that I had always felt slightly restricted and frustrated, never quite allowed the full freedom I wanted. Even when human constraints were removed, new ones, usually financial were there instead. I'm sure this is perfectly normal and just called 'life'. I currently find that I walk that tightrope of wanting to be a vaguely decent parent, but also feeling annoyed that my working day is dictated by the school timetable. I have also realised that I am stubborn and selfish enough to pursue my dreams and know that if I didn't, I'd be far harder to live with. I hope that this is example setting to my children though, that you can find a way to do what you want in life. I have found a way to have an etching press at home without a studio (it's in the kitchen!) and pursue a Master's degree while doing the school run. (Apparently Chris Orr had a press in his kitchen so I feel I'm following a good path!). The older I get the more I realise there's never going to be a 'right time' so better to just jump on in and get on with it.
Other things to note:
Jonathan provided me with a link to the B.I.G. grounds website. I've had a look and this is a non-toxic rolled on ground that needs to be baked in the oven. I like the idea that it's coloured as that would make it easier to work with. The process video's look wonderful and I'm going to work my way through them as I have never had any formal etching instruction.
Jonathon also pointed me in the direction of a couple of previous students whose work and methods are relevant to me. I am building quite a library of links and a long reading list which excites me. I find looking at previous students journeys fascinating and seeing how differently our cohort as well as previous students have used the reflective process gives me the courage to write honestly and for myself.
I told Jonathan about my printmaking group having a rather large exhibition at South Hill Park in March 2024. Between 12 of us we need to fill the whole venue (about 4 exhibition spaces) and I'm feeling excited as this is the first 'formal' exhibition with a brief that I've ever had to work towards and will involve a collaborative piece and local community engagement. I think working towards this whilst pursuing the MA will be great.
